Lying has always been fascinating to me. I’ve never really been a fan, which could also be due to the fact that I have a natural inability to lie. Even when I want to, my facial expression apparently tells it all. But I never really understood the urge to lie that some people seem to have. Cause enough for a blogpost, wouldn’t you say?
To get into this, I think we should define lying first. What constitutes a lie? Telling something that simply isn’t true, sure. But what about something that’s partially true? Exaggerated? And what about lying by omission? Does that still count? Dictionary.com defines it as follows:
1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture:His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.
3. an inaccurate or false statement; a falsehood.
So now that we know what lie is, the next step is figuring out why people keep using them.
- Avoiding punishment/negative consequences. I guess this is obvious.
- Obtaining a reward/positive consequences. Like, for example, claiming you’re fluent in Spanish while you know that the Duolingo owl is deeply disappointed in you for not following through on your lessons.
- To protect others. You know someone else could get hurt or punished by the truth, and you want to make sure that doesn’t happen. Or, put differently, nobody likes a snitch.
- To protect oneself. This can range from lying at the bar that you have a boyfriend waiting for you at home to bragging about an accomplishment that you really didn’t achieve to keep up with the Joneses. Which, I guess, somewhat overlaps with lying to obtain a reward.
- Avoiding embarrassment. This could very well be a little lie we all use. “I’m on my way!” when you know good and damn well you’re still looking for your left shoe.
- Maintaining privacy. Maybe you want to keep a secret and you’re not comfortable saying “That’s private.”
- Avoiding awkward or unpleasant situations. “Gotta go, driving through a tunnel!” No, I really just don’t wanna talk to you anymore.
- Power trip. Sometimes people just want to know what they can get away with. Sometimes it’s about having control over someone, or even a group of people. If you can get a big enough group to believe your lies, you can even become president of the United States!
All of this is all nice and swell, but to me, there’s only one reason people lie. It’s never to protect the person they’re lying to. It’s to protect themselves from the consequences of them telling the truth. Whether good or bad, in the end the reasons for lying are selfish. Because “I don’t want to tell you the truth” is a perfectly acceptable answer, and “No” is a complete sentence.
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