Relationships end. That’s just the way things are. They work out until they don’t. For friendships, however, the case is very much different.
Friendships, especially with best friends, tend to not just end for no reason. I have examples for you:
Years ago I had a really good friend, definitely a bestie. Until she wasn’t anymore. Without going into too much detail (I like to keep this stuff unidentifiable), I caught her talking to a mutual friend of ours, saying some really, really, REALLY hurtful stuff while categorizing and stereotyping an entire group of people that she knew good and damn well I identified with.
Another example. A classic. This has happened to more than one person in my circle. You remember how I feel about friendship between men and women, right? There’s gotta be some tension there, even if you don’t act on it. So many best friend-couples I know, including one I was in, ended because one of the two decided to either make a move or catch feelings. And just like that, you’re guy-bestie is gone. In almost all cases this happened after YEARS of friendship. For some reason, 7/8 years seems to be the turning point. Hmm.
If a romantic relationship ends, you tend to turn to your friends. You know that no matter what, they are your support system and will help you get back up after something bad happens. However, if it’s your friend(s) that you broke up with, you not only lose someone you were very close with, but you also lose your support system. And the loneliness and sense of missing someone that kicks in here is what’ll get to you and what makes it so much harder than a romantic breakup.
Yes, if you end a romantic relationship people will ask you about this other person for a while, but they’ll (usually) deal with the fact that y’all broke up. Eventually. With a bff it’s not so simple. Everybody understands that romantic relationships can end. People don’t count on friendships, especially close ones, to end. All of that makes it hurt so much more.
But as with all breakups: you will be OK. Some things just weren’t meant to last. Be grateful for the good times and look to who’s still around. You’ll be fine 🙂
Oh yes. so true. Its so hard ending a friendship – no clear path for the grieving that must follow.